Geez, is that stuff sexy? It’s similar to a Moscow Mule, but using rum instead of vodka. Since the generic description is described as “Perhaps the best description…”, let’s take a look at the specific description of the wine being reviewed: “…is a real treat as this cuvee flirts with perfection. TAKE THE WINE CHALLENGE - BLENDING IS YOUR FRIEND! Wine drinkers are catching on and with more knowledgeable wine consumers I think that we will get more wine descriptions that make sense. That’s quite a trick! In Vino Veritas, Isn’t the “clinging salty tide” the real give away? See … Here is the latest installment of “Birds of a Feather” featuring the “liquefying” theme.  I will continue with more “Birds of a Feather” so long as I continue have ammo. What happened to the “… liquefied charcoal grilled steak heavily crusted on the outside, blood red on the inside, sprinkled with Provencal herbs, and doused in black pepper”. DENNIS FOLEY, RENOWNED FIGURE IN THE WORLD OF RARE WINE, PASSED AWAY AT THE AGE OF 74, SURPRISE WINNING WINE IN THE INTERNATIONAL WINE TASTING COMPETITION OF THE CENTURY. Bacardi Cocktails Strawberry Daiquiri. If so, it is none other than a German Riesling – 2009 Willi Schaefer Wehlener Sonnenuhr Spatlese. Aug 4, 2015 - Who knows where technology would be without coffee! Now, the secret to this drink is that instead of a mix…we pour in one individual Raspberry Lemonade Crystal Light packet (you know, the small ones you would pour into a bottle of water). I hope you enjoy it. After your wedding ceremony comes the cocktail hour.It's often the time for party-goers to mingle (and drink!) Esoteric descriptors, I think, are counterproductive–turning off many consumers because they cannot experience, or even identify with them. If vintage wine is sought after and goes for a premium price, why not vintage tea? What is this? WHAT’S ULLAGE GOT TO DO WITH IT? I found this 20-year-old packet behind a countertop during a kitchen remodel. VINOUS DRIVE-BY -- IT'S THE DRIVE-BY SIP AND SPIT! A PAIR TO DRAW TO & A GUIDE FOR WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN WINES THAT ARE FOOD FRIENDLY, BALANCED, AND CAPABLE OF AGING FOR AN EXTENDED TIME, THE UNDERGROUND HISTORY AS WE BRIEFLY LOOK BACK AND THEN CONTINUE TO FOCUS ON THE FUTURE. […] 5. In Vino Veritas, The wine is “…shady and cool…. 100 Funny Food Quotes Every Foodie Should Live By. Full-bodied and massively endowed, with abundant silky tannins, no doubt these aged teabags have acquired a zesty, rich, earthy flavor and sweaty but attractive saddle leather-like notes as well as a fragrant bouquet of elderberries, tobacco, rich soil, white flowers, smashed minerals and metal. A Bartender fills drink orders either directly from a customer at the bar or through servers who place drink orders for dining room customers in a restaurant setting. John. Get it before the “salty tide” recedes! who doesn't?) There are so many goofy descriptions that they all run together. http://winesnark.com/become-a-wine-critic-superhero/, http://winesnark.com/the-wine-review-review-1/, http://winesnark.com/the-best-snarcasms-of-2015/. Does “liquefied Viagra” have “no hard edges”and a “35 second finish”? THE BLENDING GAME - IS IT TIME FOR THREE BUCK CHUCK? See more ideas about whiskey quotes, quotes, whiskey girl. After all, the finish is only 35 seconds. Many wines descriptions are so far off the mark that they are truly laughable. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io, This New Build Embraces Old Country Charm, Two Brothers Overhauled a Fixer Upper in Tennessee, 39 Kitchen Trends for 2021 You'll See Everywhere, The Best Indoor Trees for Every Room of Your House, These Chairs Are Perfect for Your Reading Nook, How Two City Slickers Found Country Bliss. So, in self defense, I must move on before the flock arrives. I guess if you are into animal fur in your wine maybe “unctuosity” fits in there too! That only leaves the points as the basis for buying. When you think of the perfect summer cocktail, you probably think about something light, refreshing, tasty, and, of course, ice cold. | Coffee sayings & quotes from actual coffee lovers!. At least, I hope not! […]. I don’t know because I have never had to obliterate a “clinging salty tide” that doesn’t quit in my mouth. HAPPY THANKSGIVING! NITTY GRITTY DETAILS: • Deliver an unparalleled guest experience through the best combination of food, drinks and games in anideal environment for celebrating all out fun. Jul 27, 2018 - Explore Stone Creek Boutique | Vintage's board "Whiskey Quotes", followed by 483 people on Pinterest. Indigenous to Cuba, the mojito is a popular rum cocktail dating back to the 16th century. Like I have said, not only is life too short to drink bad wine, but also it is too short to not laugh and have fun! My favorite was a 100 point Chateauneuf du Pape that was redolent with ‘animal fur.’ Wet or dry? Does “liquefied Viagra” smell sexy like “smoke, black fruits, cappuccino, and toasty wood”? Is that the real kicker? But, there seems to be the sound of chirping birds over the horizon. and kirsch, smoked game and lavender encased in sweaty saddle leather. A Dark And Stormy Rum Cocktail is a very masculine drink that’s refreshing and full of flavor. John, A tropical drink menu is perfect for any summer cocktail party. I do not like these alcoholic fruit bombs even if they score 1000 points! Since I do not subscribe to the 100 point state of mind in any of its manifestations, I get most of my laughs from the big numbers wine descriptions that are sent out by people trying to sell wine. All you … Customers typically spend just 90 seconds looking over the menu, and this time does not expand to accommodate any confusion caused by a poorly written menu. Sadly, that is probably true. You and your readers may also enjoy my wine descriptions in this post, http://winesnark.com/the-wine-review-review-1/ and the follow up post, http://winesnark.com/the-best-snarcasms-of-2015/ Sorry for all the links, but I think readers of this post will appreciate them. THERE IS A NEW SCORING SYSTEM! TAKE A DIFFERENT VIEW THAT IS EASY ON YOUR PALATE AND ON YOUR WALLET. BLENDING PARTY – A NEW TWIST – FLASH DASH – WHAT'S IN YOUR GLASS? It really doesn’t make too much difference about the details anyway. So, with that in mind, here are a few wine descriptions to tickle your funny bone if nothing else: 1) Here is a laughable wine description sent to the Underground by a friend with a note that it was one of his favorites. But, for the rest of us, we can get some laughs out of some of the descriptions! Mad River Rum with oz. Vintage Peppermint Tea. These I have described as “Birds of a Feather”.) Whether displayed above your bar, on your porch, or in a man cave (or she-shed! Drink, Whisky Everyone loves a good internet meme, here are 15 of the funniest ones to do with whisky that we could find. “He was a wise man who invented beer.” – Plato. In fact, should any of you have some favorite laughable wine descriptions, please feel free to send them in. Include drinks’ origins. THE PERILS OF FARMING – MOTHER NATURE DEVESTATES BURGUNDY. Order one … #1TASTING NOTE: This ruby rich delight is packed with mouth-watering sumptuousness with hints of bramble, blackberry, boysenberry, Don Cherry and Frankenberry flourishes. Supposedly this is a description of 1997 Pride Mountain Vineyards Merlot. Via Weber. THE WINE FRAUD STORY – THE BEAT GOES ON! FLASH! PINOT GRIS. I followed your links and found your comments funny and far fetched at the same time. LOOKING FOR OLD WINE WITH IMPECCABLE PROVENANCE? This is a spectacular wine that must be tasted to be believed.”. But, if it is liquefied steak, shouldn’t there be a warning label for vegetarians and vegans? hilarious john! And, this is not likely to be an issue since I have quite an arsenal already and it is continuing to build. Cheers! Another name-inspired cocktail—the “Tifftini”! The world is already over-saturated with food writing -- the last thing we need is haughty and heavy-handed language. Country Living participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. However, the person did not mention the name of the wine or the date of the review. Maybe these writers are being paid by the word! FUN Description – Cocktail . Thanks to our witty home cooks, these ridiculous recipes do not disappoint. POSITION SNAPSHOT: Ensures guests have an unparalleled experience by providing fast, friendly service and being attentive to guests’ needs. ARE NUTRITIONAL LABELS COMING TO ALCOHOLIC DRINKS? You can tell it is old as now there are only 40 teabags in a box rather than 48. WHEN TO TASTE, DRINK, & ENJOY YOUNG WINES & WHAT ABOUT ROSÉ? What is your guess as to the wine being described? Mix 2 oz. AN ENIGMA WRAPPED IN A RIDDLE – CAN AN UGLY DUCKLING BECOME A SWAN? ENCORE: DEAR SANTA, WE’VE GOT A LITTLE LIST, A VIEW OF THE 2015 BURGUNDY VINTAGE IN ADVANCE OF THE ANNUAL UNDERGROUND WINELETTER TRIP TO BURGUNDY TO TASTE THE 2014S, I HATE TO TELL YOU “I TOLD YOU SO” BUT “I TOLD YOU SO!”, ROSÉ WINES AND THE GREAT ROSÉS OF PROVENCE, A SHOT OUT OF THE BLUE: WE HAVE A NEW ENTRY IN THE WINE INGREDIENT LABELING DERBY, PREVIEW: ALONG THE BUGUNDY TRAIL VINTAGE 2013. Maybe a new “liquefied Viagra”? Alabama Chick-fil-A Has Hilarious Sign War, 7 Reasons We Love This Delightful Country Porch, How to Make Rustic Tree Stump Pumpkins This Fall. In my view, this is not a real good way to encourage people to buy something. Maybe a monster wine like Purple Death? A LOOK AT NV CHAMPAGNE – IS IT REALLY DIFFERENT THIS TIME? There’s nothing wrong with choosing a signature wedding drink name that exudes romance, like this hot chocolate-inspired beverage called “Just Love.” White Coffee Creative. Great post! A “Marry Me Margarita” is a super-cute wedding cocktail name. Road tar, saddle leather, pencil shavings, dust, cigars and their boxes, minerals, stones & gravel, and everything else mother told you never to put into your mouth. I guess maybe I am old school in the sense that I want something to sound appealing before I buy it. ONE WINEDRINKER’S OBSERVATIONS OVER NEARLY 30 YEARS: TWO FACES OF FRAUD? ATTENTION WINE DRINKERS: THIS BUD’S FOR YOU! A classic cocktail’s name is almost as important as its recipe; because without a cool, catchy name, many of the delicious recipes we’ve come to know and love would never have caught on. 2016 STUPID WINE DESCRIPTION AWARD WINNERS AND MORE! YOU BET YOUR SWEET BIPPY, BUT BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR! Since there’s been a rise in local distilleries and breweries across the U.S., … But, where’s the beef? Sorry, I didn’t realize that you wanted footnotes. But the origin of its name tells a different story. Already revealing some pink and amber at the edge, the color is surprisingly evolved for a wine from this vintage. In Vino Veritas, Wine or Listerine? Get your highball on blackberry-style with this gin and tonic recipe. More about us. Fun post John. Road tar, saddle leather, pencil shavings, dust, cigars and their boxes, minerals, stones & gravel, and everything else mother told you never to put into your mouth. Well, except for Instagramming it, obviously. Mix 2 cups of water with 2 tablespoons of water. The ‘dark’ comes from the black rum and the stormy comes from the ginger beer. Palates are different, but there is a limit to the number of things that anyone can smell and taste in a glass of wine! They must be knowledgeable on a wide range of cocktail recipes and be able to mix those drinks correctly, quickly, and without waste. I guess it doesn’t matter if it is liquefied. I don’t know this wine and plan on keeping it that way. Somehow, I just don’t think that this wine bears any resemblance to the descriptions. Dude, this little insignificant … has a finish you taste for ten minutes, and the only way to obliterate it is with the next wine.”. Here's the product description: Open your door to the world of grilling with the sleek Spirit II E-210 gas grill. The Most Pretentious Food Terms Of All Time. THE FBI HAS MOVED TO STOP WINE FRAUD! BOOK ON ROBERT LAWRENCE BALZER PUBLISHED BY UNDERGROUND'S CONTRIBUTING EDITOR CHRISTINE GRAHAM, A NATIONAL CONTEST TO SEE WHICH 100 POINT WINE WRITER HAS THE MOST CREATIVE WINE DESCRIPTIONS. THE VINEYARD OR THE WINEMAKING? Good menu descriptions lead guests to order more items at a given sitting. A treat to open tonight with beef testicles or lamb spleen escabeche. As for what it costs, who cares? DRINKING WINE - IS THERE A DIFFERENCE? Thanks Mort, So I give up. I totally agree. Said to be the favorite drink of Ernest Hemingway, a mojito is served in a highball glass over ice with muddled mint, white rum, lime juice, simple syrup and a splash … Here’s the generic description of wines from the producer of the wine that is being reviewed: “…and no one can argue that he is the appellation’s greatest guardian of traditional winemaking. Full-bodied and massively endowed, with abundant silky tannins, it possesses the balance to age for 30+ years.”. - THE CURIOUS CASE OF 1928 LA GAFFELIÉRE NAUDES, BIRDS OF A FEATHER - LAUGHABLE WINE DESCRIPTIONS, A NEW WINE FOR THE HOLIDAYS THAT HAS EVERYONE BUZZED. Thanks Wes. If you buy from a link, we may earn a commission. Food & Drink. The world of make believe is hard to decipher! ), these rustic signs featuring hilarious quotes about booze are guaranteed to inspire plenty of chuckles. Yum! EVERYTHING YOU HAVE BEEN DYING TO KNOW ABOUT NEWLY RELEASED CALIFORNIA CHARDONNAYS! WHAT REALLY MATTERS? Spoiler Alert: I stole most of the previous sentence from genuine wine descriptions I read online. WHO’S SWIMMING NAKED? Food and Drink. They were meant to be serious, but in reality are just goofy! The 100 point leemings don’t care about the price no matter how high and others like me don’t care about the wine no matter how low the price! So like Joe Friday used to say, “Just the facts, Ma’m.”, Thanks Tom. Here is liquefied steak, beef blood, sweaty saddle, and assorted other goodies revealed: 2001 Henri Bonneau Chateauneuf du Pape Reserve des Celestins. Homemade ice cubes are one thing, but what about making cupcakes out of meatloaf or baking a whole camel? One of the spicy shrimp recipes was described as "succulent shrimp swimming in a gourmet blend of sauces." “Don’t cry over spilled milk…it could … MORE TO COME? It should drink well for 12-15 years. (to read the article on Purple Deathclick here) But, I am left wondering why you would want to obliterate the taste if it is good. Was it the “liquefied Viagra”? The wine descriptions I quote are actual quotes from some of the 100 point wine writers. It likely … Add more water to taste. Syrupy or thick is what I would think it might be referring to, but I really don’t know. After all, this review does mention the name of the reviewer of the last wine (deleted). The Underground is totally focused on the consumer and a strong advocate of wine ingredient labeling. Blackberry Gin & Tonic. SOME MORE BIG HOUSE RELATIVES PAY A VISIT TO THE UNDERGROUND. Cheers! To subscribe and be notified anytime we post a new article, enter your email address in the box below, then click on Subscribe Now. Finally, palates are like fingerprints– everyone is different. IS IT DRINK NOW AND PAY LATER? THE BORDEAUX ROAD AHEAD - A BUBBLE, A SPEED BUMP, OR BLISS? See what you think and see if you can identify the wine: “The … might be called liquefied Viagra. THE BEAT GOES ON! AMATEUR NIGHT AT THE WINE FOLLIES: THE ANSWER WAS LYING IN PLAIN SIGHT. crescendos into a salty tide that clings and doesn’t quit…, …has a finish you taste for ten minutes and the only way to obliterate it is with the next wine.” And, what, pray tell, would that next wine be? And, how about “deliciosity”? However, I do find many of big numbers wine descriptions laughable and very amusing. ATTENTION COSTCO WINE SHOPPERS: WHEN IS A ROSÉ NOT A ROSÉ? Mojo. And, the name of the wine? Seventh and Anderson. By Taysha Murtaugh. I love when … writes about finishes that “last a minute.” A minute??? THE BIRDS ARE STILL FLOCKING – WATCH OUT BELOW! 100-POINT WINES – GET ‘EM WHILE YOU CAN! I’ll have to check on that first before making the introduction. WHY THE “UNDERGROUND” WINELETTER? WOW! If you opt for a menu like this, be sure to have the freshest juices available and get creative with freshly cut fruit garnishes. ... Unnecessarily grandiose descriptions of food, on menus and in restaurant reviews, are one of the most visible manifestations of food snobbery. you know that the second best thing to eating food, is talking about it. DO YOU KNOW PINOT GRIS? How does one describe an …Perhaps the best description is that it represents a liquefied charcoal grilled steak heavily crusted on the outside, blood red on the inside, sprinkled with Provencal herbs, and doused in black pepper.”. The more the merrier. That could work with syrup! TASTING WINE VS. Also, I was in agreement with what people were telling me about not understanding wine descriptions. Here, 17 classic cocktails with the coolest names. An easy rum and lime-juice After all, who would buy or drink any wine based on these descriptions? You see, it’s not just “grilled steak”. Pre-mixed cocktail combining Bacardi Rum with strawberry and lemon flavors for a classic Strawberry Daiquiri. ), these rustic signs featuring hilarious quotes about booze are guaranteed to inspire plenty of chuckles. Mosquito Fleet Rum Dark rum from the Appalachian Gap Distillery in Middlebury, Vermont. In that case, we might need a visit from the Blending Man. Bloody, sweaty saddle leather! John. BIG NUMBERS WINE CRITIC ISSUES REPORT ON 2009 BEAUJOLAIS. STOP THE WINE PRESS! The animal fur in question was part of an unappetizing pot-pourri of descriptors of the 100 point Pegau CdeP Cuvee da Capo 2000 in WA #151, February 2004. So do you have any idea of what wine is represented by this review? Still it doesn’t sound so good to me. THE BEST WINERIES IN AMERICA - THE TOP 4 ARE FROM CALIFORNIA'S CENTRAL COAST! "When life gives you lemons, grab tequila and salt!". In Vino Veritas, The 50 Most Popular Cocktails in the World in 2021 - VinePair According to the back label, about 5% … was added in the blend of this stunningly aromatic, multi-dimensional wine. Like I said in the article, I have a lot more ammo. I hope it also has deliciosity, as it is frightfully expensive.  And, I don’t know how many other things might have been liquefied into wine descriptions. ATTENTION ALL WINE CONSUMERS: WINE INGREDIENT LABELING IS HERE! NEWS FLASH – HAS FAKE NEWS TAKEN OVER THE WINE GAME? Oh yes, one other thing. I say “might” only because I think a combination of these two elements might just induce a Kryptonite blow to the Blending Man’s palate. ginger liqueur and 1 oz fresh lemon juice with a splash of club soda in a cocktail glass filled with ice for a 'Roarin' 20s.' Maybe it’s bad because the “salty tide” keeps rushing in and won’t go away. THE BEAT GOES ON AND ON … “SUM YUNG VINE” X 2. Please pass along the Underground. Blue drinks are always popular, so include at least one, and stick to rum and tequila as the base spirits. If that is the case, you would not have to worry about calling the doctor if your excitement did not subside in 4 hours! ARE WE TERRORISTS? In addition to 16% ABV, the wine also has plenty of unctuosity, a word that neither my spell check nor my dictionary recognize. Apr 17, 2017 Etsy.com. This two burner grill is built to fit small spaces, and packed with features such as the powerful GS4 grilling system, iGrill capability, and convenient side … by Tolani Shoneye Published on 29 April 2015 2 526 shares If you love food (and let's face it. This is reflected in my recent commentary “Drink What You Like & Like What you Drink!” Jessica Draper Calligraphy DO WINE AND TOILET PAPER HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON? 3) Continuing with our theme of liquefying things, here’s another liquefication from the creator of “liquefied Viagra.” Take a guess at what is being liquefied next: Well, it’s none of the above really. It scored 98 points and was described as “flirts with perfection.” How charming! Country Living editors select each product featured. NEWS FLASH -- NEW ALCOHOL WARNING LABELS FOR WINE MAY SOON BE ISSUED! Then I guess you have to run and get another bottle of something. Doesn’t that just excite you no end? Beer Quotes. But, based on some of the descriptions, I would certainly not buy the wine and I would never buy a wine based on a number. To add a twist, crush a strawberry in a glass and squeeze in a fresh wedge of lime, fill with ice, and add 8 ounces of Bacardi Cocktails Strawberry Daiquiri and stir well. John. All we have here is  aromatics with such enticing things as beef blood mixed with dried flowers, spice, figs, sweet black currants (as opposed to sour black currants?) It’s my impression that wine descriptions have lost their real meaning — how well it’s made, is it balanced with good structure, and most importantly does it have the components to be a good food wine, which is really what wine, in the final analysis, is all about. 2004 WHITE BURGUNDIES: PREMOX OR NOT? What you perceive is not what I perceive. So what was the dead give away? Long Island Iced Tea Long Island Iced Tea (LIIT) is a stylish cocktail typically made with vodka, triple sec, tequila, light rum, gin and cola that gives it a nice and soothing amber hue. What a treat! Any guesses? DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME OF YEAR IT IS ON THE WINE CALENDAR? “Verbena, aloe vera, melisse, lemon-balm, and finally the usual apple; the palate as always is shady and cool, though more overtly mineral than usual, but the finish crescendos into a salty tide that clings and doesn’t quit. The six most creative cocktail menus in NYC From baseball cards to comic books, check out clever bar menus that promise a good time even before … Maybe the two of them are from the same nest? Taysha Murtaugh was the Lifestyle Editor at CountryLiving.com. And, sadly, for many people, wine is all about points. Below are the 3 Stupid Wine Description Winners from 2017. HERE AT LAST – BEYOND 100 POINTS – NIRVANA! Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. BLENDING GAME -- BLENDING MAN TO THE RESCUE, NOW APPEARING AT A STORE NEAR YOU - DON'T CRY FOR ME ARGENTINA STARRING MALBEC & TORRONTES. i had a lot of fun reading your article. A meme (pronounced meem) is traditionally described as being “an idea, behavior, or style that spreads from person to person within a culture”. It’s “a liquefied charcoal grilled steak heavily crusted on the outside, blood red on the inside, sprinkled with Provencal herbs, and doused in black pepper.” But, no mention of the type of steak – chuck steak, round steak, filet mignon, New York, rib eye, etc., etc. Hell, I don't even know where I'd be! That seems to have somehow morphed into “…full bodied and massively endowed…”  Hmmm. But, “…a liquefied charcoal grilled steak heavily crusted on the outside, blood red on the inside, sprinkled with Provencal herbs, and doused in black pepper” and “liquefied Viagra” should make a potent concoction that would rock your world and perhaps incite latent tendencies. So I will be reloading and taking aim at more “Birds of a Feather” soo! THE TIDE MAY BE GOING OUT SOON! You can find the “blood-soaked animal fur” review at WineSnark http://winesnark.com/become-a-wine-critic-superhero/ along with the rest of the review that also compares the outstanding wine as smelling of fresh horse dung. Shows promise to last longer than your belief in an afterlife. Wild, feral or domestic? Did you nail it? A cocktail is a mixed drink typically made with a distilled liquor (such as arrack, brandy, cachaça, gin, rum, tequila, vodka, or whiskey) as its base ingredient that is then mixed with other ingredients or garnishments.Sweetened liqueurs, wine, or beer may also serve as the base or be added.If beer is one of the ingredients, the drink is called a beer cocktail. Your email address will not be published. However, that’s deceptive as the aromatics offer incredible aromas of dried flowers, beef blood, spice, figs, sweet black currants and kirsch, smoked game, lavender, and sweaty but attractive saddle leather-like notes. Also an ideal companion for manic-depression. YIKES! Required Cookies & Technologies. John, […] The Underground Wine Letter – Laughable Wine Descriptions […]. I think that is the best way to look at them. When I first started writing about laughable wine descriptions (to read that article click here and to read the follow up article click here) I was prompted by some of the notes that friends sent me. means a magic charm or talisman. An example of that is this note: “…I have always been amazed by the Word Salad and Adjective Cocktails blended into most wine reviews. re: Fancy Food Descriptions Posted by Afreaux on 6/2/11 at 6:04 pm to LuckySo-n-So Friend of mine got a review for his restaurant in the advocate.
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